Hey hey.

Aren’t things moving fast. Cute shit ahead, cute shit deemed worth chasing, for we need a principle to go after and what else is there, really. I like where it’s all going. I’ve become quite the expert at closing my eyes shut, stuffing my head with the usual ghosts, enough for the horrors beyond my grasp to disappear like colors from a late dream. Might not have been your lesson but I learned this around your hair, it’s not that much of a hell when we’re in charge of the flames coming our way. And fire is great for cleansing too.

Still, I’m keeping you here where you can’t fade away. A relic from different times, boring times, dark times I guess, what with your weird cold heart being one of the few warming lights. Is this even about you anymore? I might have lost contact with who you are enough for your essence to stop mattering altogether. It’s been a while. Not the first while either. You always come back eventually, and I’m usually here to welcome you, ‘cause that’s what I do, desperately unable to save your attention in some merry place where I can get it anytime I want.

And yet it doesn’t really matter to me. Far away as you may be, you’re still floating in my every coffee, sacrificing most sleep to the higher cause of the wonderful living I trust we’re both carrying on right now. I’m grateful to you, and I haven’t mentioned any reason why, but reasons are such a boring excuse, and who gives a shit about adolescence anyway? We should be past the emotional answers by now, frankly you kind of always were, and there’s still so many hurtful questions we can ask to bring this world to our cheerful knees.

You must be flying quite high now. I know ‘cause I’ve been there too. I’m not much of a bird, clouds confuse the fuck out of me and the heavens don’t like my habit of vomiting all over. But I like to think my feathers are kind and one of a kind, and they can shine quite prettily when I happen to step in front of the sun. Will you be my star once again? I miss the rainbows we used to draw in the sky with everlasting help from our twisted brains. I can only do so much on my own, so do try and stick around.

For my world needs coloring, and you’re one special shade of cyan it’d be sad to paint without.